Scientology and shooting pringles in the faces of the poor

I’m hoping that anybody reading this is not a member of the church of Scientology. The simple reason for this is that I can’t be arsed laying out the finer points of why your religion is an utter pile of wanking aftermath, aptly summarised in your deluded spokesman Tom Cruises’ couch jumping shenanigans on Oprah Winfrey’s equally lamentable excuse for daytime programming. For those who don’t have time for the venerable Mr. Hubbard’s pseudo-scientific, religious clusterfuck, well done for achieving the base level in rationality.

OK, there’s nothing new in taking a stab at the most obviously fraudulent cult in modern times, in fact, it’s actually a bit trendy to take a pop at Scientology, the most gaping open goal in the minefield of intellectual discourse. Nobody in their right mind is going to disagree with whatever far out statement you make lamenting this horseshit; you may as well argue that food aid for famine victims is better provided in the form of cooked meals rather than serving Pringles via a shotgun to the face. Yet still the delicate balancing act between the freedom of religious worship and protecting people from being conned rages on, often coming down in favour of the former through sheer laziness. Are we too scared to recognise that some religions are totally made up? Why do we have to give equal credence to every bogus notion that smacks of false spirituality, hiding itself behind basic human decency that allows people to believe whatever the hell they want to without bullying them?

There’s an important court case happening in France at the moment, where a former Scientologist is suing her religious bosses for extorting money from her after a free personality test (we’re back the Pringles analogy, once you pop, you can’t stop). If successful, Scientology could be banned across the country, to which I say good riddance. It’s bad enough that Microsoft word is automatically correcting my poor spelling of Scientology to include a capital letter, the idea that people’s lives are being destroyed is much worse

The reason we can’t put other religions on trail such as Christianity and Islam is that it’s simply too late. All the key witnesses are dead, and should Jesus ever show up to provide testimony it would be a shore fire indicator that we’d better all start getting down to church pronto. Luckily we still have a chance to rid the world of the utter poison that is Scientology. In my hometown of Perth, Australia, I regularly see large groups of former Scientologists marching through the city centre, living witnesses to the danger of letting things be. The scene is made all the more fitting when you see the marches dressed in fancy dress, an attempt at masking identity rather than joviality.

Life is often about tolerating the various views that people hold that may not coincide with your own, and accepting the multi-cultural world we live as complex place that needs to be dealt with empathetically and with respect. In the case of Scientology, it simple isn’t.